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She Says: What Goes Up
Hello Everyone!
Time for me to get a little reflective. Hope you don’t mind. In the last week, I’ve eaten out three times and attended one birthday party (for me). Along the way I made probably thousands of food decisions. What should I order? How much should I eat? Am I even hungry? Is that cupcake worth it? Worth what? It is currently Day 18 of the Cleaner Life Month and although I might have veered off course, I was definitely at least on a smaller parallel road. My goals for the month were at least in my mind while celebrating this week, and I think that’s what is most important. Even though I’ve broken nearly every “rule,” I am learning a lot about food and about myself as a food consumer. It is easy to go on auto pilot and consume snacks, treats and other convenience foods that are around, especially in a social setting.
The other night when I was out with Sabrina she asked if I would have “food envy” if she ordered pizza because I could not have white flour. I don’t get “food envy,” because if someone has something I want, I order it. I would be absolutely terrible on a “diet,” but I do not feel bad about that at all because I am learning and growing every day. I actually think being able to eat what you crave without guilt or restriction is a healthy normal thing. In fact, I think my ups and downs really show why so many people fail on diets where you are not allowed to eat certain things. As soon as you are “off the diet,” all hell breaks loose. I am not being hard on myself, just honestly assessing my strengths and weaknesses.
That said, I am not interested in growing horizontally if you know what I’m saying. Just like small healthy decisions and changes can add up to something wonderful, small and consistent not so great decisions can also add up in less than wonderful ways. After a week or so of eating larger amounts and more processed foods than usual I am feeling a little yuck today. Let me be clear. I loved my birthday celebrations and all the wonderful food it entailed, but I feel a little hung over today. I am lethargic, a little lazy and bloated. These are the feelings that motivated me to try cleaner eating for a month. It makes me feel chaotic and unfocused as well. Could it all be because of sugar and white flour? I doubt it, but I do believe the food you eat affects the way you feel.
Worst of all I did not even start the day in the very best way. Because I was still food from last night I wasn’t hungry at all for breakfast this morning. So, instead of a real breakfast I snacked on Oatmeal Muffins and Peanut Butter. Delicious, but not doing wonders for the ill feeling in my stomach. I put off going to the gym, but I absolutely knew that a good sweat would make me feel a lot better and it did. When I came home I had a nice Hummus Sandwich with strawberries and carrots. I also had a spoon of that Naturally Nutty Vanilla Almond Butter because it is just the best thing to pass my lips recently.
I don’t have a good conclusion to wrap up this story because I am still in the middle of it. I knew the Cleaner Life Month would be hard and it is. But, it’s not hard because I can’t have this or that, but rather because I’ve forced myself to think more about how and what I eat.
That is exactly how have been feeling since Sunday!!!
Great points! I think you’re doing a really good job and all that matters is what you’re learning from this experience. I’m certainly not eating anywhere near as cleanly as you, but I love the feeling of not being on a “diet” and just knowing that every day I’m getting a little closer to the truly healthy and nutritious lifestyle that I want for myself.
Keep it up!
I love the reflection. I also love the lack of “food envy.” I think sometimes we have to screw up (not that you have) to appreciate how good things are when we are doing things right, you know?
I still think you are eating better than 99.9% of society, and 10 million Iranians could care less.
Awesome post. Hopefully writing about it will help you sort things out and find a way that works for you.
Great post, Heather! I can honestly say that since I “cleaned up” my diet a few years back (I used to be a fast food junkie), I definitely feel the effect that food has on me. I’m hypoglycemic so technically I NEED to eat the way I’m eating but a few years ago I could have cared less and wondered why I was shaking and feeling ill all the time. I haven’t had nearly as many ‘episodes’ of low blood sugar since I’ve begun focusing on giving myself fulfilling/healthy foods. I guess you could say I “lost the taste” for sweets because I honestly don’t crave them much. I also know what these sweets will do for me in the long run (whack blood sugar levels, feeling ill, etc.) so when people are happily chomping down on cake or fried foods I can say in 100% truth that I don’t experience food envy at all. I don’t ever deprive myself – I will have a slice of cake if I want it (heck, I had one last week) but I don’t NEED to have it all the time.
Sorry for the novel!! Hope you’re starting to feel better soon
Food hangovers are awful!
I hear ya on the food hangover. I sorta gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted (within reason) during my half training because I was burning it up. Now, on my first week off, I’ve been going crazy because I’m back to restricting my calories and sort of in a “detox” phase. I know I’ll feel better in a week or so, but right now, I cannot comprehend how I used to do this!
I agree – it sounds like you eat better than 99.9% of the people out there, and sometimes it’s good enough to just be good enough! Little changes, or even just being aware, is better than nothing!
Heather- I appreciate you being honest and open in this post. We all go through those weeks/days where our eats make us feel a little meh. I am all for everything in moderation and believe that treats every once in a while are an absolute necessity (ESPECIALLY when its your birthday). That being said, I think that hangover feeling is a reminder to us of why eating clean/healthier is good for us. Its like why having bad days is ok, it makes the good days seem even better.
Every day starts with good intentions! Sometimes things don’t happen the way we hope, but we just gotta pick ourselves up and remember that it’s ok to indulge sometimes!!!!! I’m sure you don’t have tons of birthday parties and things every week — everything events out. It’s ok!
I know how you feel – I hate that bloated lethargic feeling after eating out more often than usual, or after an event like a birthday party. hopefully after a few days you will start to feel better =)
Oh I know this feeling all too well…especially lately! Such a crappy feeling. But you have such a great outlook on your eating, and I know your cleaner life month will be a success! At least the bad days gives us that much more motivation to have great days…hope you have a great day tomorrow!!
Ah…the good ole’ food hangover. I think it’s a must after a birthday, though! When I’m eating clean and have a “treat” now and then, I have mixed emotions about how I feel. I don’t want to deprive myself of things I love, but then I don’t want to feel bleh, either. I think it’s very admirable of you to do the clean eating challenge, during the month of your b-day (and summer bbq’s, etc.) especially!
Your last sentence is exactly how I feel during this challenge. Giving up certain things surprisingly hasn’t been very hard, but I am so much more aware of exactly what’s in everything I eat and why I eat (or ate) the way I do. It’s quite opening. This is an experience – ups and downs are part of it. I hope tomorrow is a better day!
Happy belated birthday, btw!!
Great thoughts Heather. I totally agree with all of it, although I have been known to have food envy even IF I don’t want something. is that weird?? I guess the visual aspect affects me?
Over the last 2 years I have seen my diet change from how to eat the most and the tastiest foods without gaining weight (and trying to lose weight) to eating the foods I know I will enjoy but that ALSO my body will enjoy. This change in perspective has definitely allowed me to enjoy my junk without two thoughts. I had an ice cream tonight, the real stuff, but all natural real ingredients and I don’t feel the teeniest bit guilty about it. At the same time, this afternoon my body wanted loads of veggies so that’s what I gave it. I even caught myself, at a meeting with our wedding reception venue today, asking the manager to send us our lunch sandwiches on whole wheat bread! (side note: he is sending all the female bridal party a huge salad, fruit salad, and some mini grilled veggie and turkey sandwiches while we get ready). Weird that I would assume that ALL of my bridesmaids would also want to eat that way, but I guess it is just so natural to me now to want to pick something that both tastes AND feels good. know what I mean?
It is seriously amazing to look back and see that transformation… from skinny cow sandwiches to a sliced mango… because I WANT to, not because I should.
Anyway, great reflections on both this challenge and on balance. I look forward to your end of the month reflection.
Love this. If you aren’t craving or “envying” any food choices, you must be doing something right, right?
i think that if you can do this:
I actually think being able to eat what you crave without guilt or restriction is a healthy normal thing.
you are golden. for me, that’s the hardest part sometimes!
these are really great reflections. i think having an awareness of what you eat is a definite good thing, but it can easily spiral into obsession. being aware but flexible is the balance i search for – but then there’s a line where too much flexibility happens. i don’t really think anyone can have that perfect balance (which is one of the 1000 reasons diets that demand you follow a perfect plan fail), but at least maintaining that awareness, without beating yourself up for any decisions, is a good place to be.
Great post Heather! Personally I think that any challenge that results in a little more knowledge and understanding, is what’s most important.
That was very insightful and helped me to step back and re-evaluate my lifestyle and “diet”. Thanks!
Great post. I really appreciate that you emphasized learning and making concious choices rather than absolute rules. That’s definitely the healthist and most sustainable thing long term. It’s fun to watch how well you are doing with your cleaner life month.
I really appretiate your reflection. It’s comforting and supportive to know other people think and feel the same way I do. Great post!
I’ve been feeling the same way… hit the hardest today!
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