She Says: Being Healthy Through a Frown
Picture it: Our living room, last night during the Yankees game. Me laying on the couch with my computer on my lap, wining. Mark, sitting on a chair trying to figure out what sport he is watching.
“I don’t want to write on the blog anymore. I have nothing to say and I am a hypocrite.”
“Okay.”
If you had to guess, you would probably say that this was Mark trying to quit Hangry Pants, but you would be wrong. It was me. Mark went on to say, “If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. But, if you want to be a good blogger you could be honest and share what’s going on in your life right now. People would probably appreciate it.”
I decided he was right. He loves that. I was hesitant because I am not sure I can articulate my experience without sounding self-absorbed or like a baby, but I’ll risk it. I don’t really want to quit writing, I just am going through a serious blogging identity crisis. So, instead of quitting, I will try my best to share.
You might remember that sometime in July I identified that I’d gained a few pounds. Nothing big really, and by the time I started school all my fall clothes fit fine. I will say that I definitely have gained a few pounds since I moved to NJ last January. I guess not having a scale is better for the mind, but not always for the body. I honestly didn’t mind because my clothes still fit and I was really active, healthy and happy here.
You might also remember that before I started working I had no health insurance. Sigh. I have it now and until January, so I’ve been trying to load up on appointments to try to fix a particularly troublesome, but not life threatening problem I’ve had for quite some time. It’s really an annoying situation that kind of has negative mental affects as well because it started while I was a miserable lawyer and I attribute the problem to that whole stressful time in my life. It’s a reminder of how unhappy I was and I hate it. Therefore, I am really dedicated to fixing it. Unfortunately, doctors always tell me the same thing, a thing which makes absolutely no logical sense to me.
For the second time I tried the first round of “let’s see if this works” treatment. I did it once before several years ago and the results were disconcerting. It worked temporarily until I could no longer pay for the medicine without insurance. But it also had terrible side effects. I was very emotional and puffed up like a balloon. In fact, the last time I tried fixing this, the medicine put me over the mental edge and I finally decided I’d had enough of work. I guess it was “Pill Courage” that made me walk in my boss’s office one day and quit my job three years ago.
I was prepared for both of these things again, but it doesn’t seem to make it better. I’ve only just started and already I feel different. First, I cry at random times. I am a much happier person than I was the last time I took these medicines, so I thought maybe my better mindset would ward off some of the abundance of emotion. Not so much. Second, I have once again blown up like a balloon. Sigh. I feel like a hypocrite because I am supposed to be promoting self-love and a healthy life, but right now I am so negative about everything and I do not feel healthy in the least. As I explained, I’d already gained a little weight and now this on top of it … literally I have three pairs of pants to wear to work, everything is tight – from pajamas, to winter coats. And button down shirts? Forget it. A pair of pants I bought earlier this month do not fit, and I don’t mean just a little snug. I attribute most of this to the medicine (but I know I’d gained a little weight prior to this anyway), which as of right now, has not even worked yet. I have another doctor’s appointment today, and I fear that I will get something stronger in dosage and side effects. 
The worst part is that I do not believe in the treatment, but it’s all I can do right now anyway.
It’s easy to feel happy and healthy when everything is normal. It’s easy to say, “Love yourself. You are beautiful,” when you are a thin, happy, healthy person. It’s much harder when something like this happens. In a way, I feel like a silly baby. I should be happy that my problem is not something that could make me seriously sick. I should be happy that I currently have insurance. I know I should be, but it’s really really frustrating. I’m angry that I have this stupid problem in the first place, and I’m upset that every time I try to wear my clothes I have to take them off and try again. When I look in the mirror, I do not see my own body and I do not feel like myself either. This makes me sad and scared. I do not know how bad the side effects will get, and I do not know if I will ever be “fixed.”
I do not mean to complain. I just thought it would be better to explain why I’ve been such a low key blogger lately. I really don’t have that much to share about my “healthy lifestyle” at the moment. I am angry about the situation, which means I haven’t been enjoying cooking or eating. I would feel awful pretending that everything is same old, same old over here.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:57 am
hey Heather, thanks for sharing such real feelings of yours.
it’s ok to feel off after all we are human and i enjoy reading your blog not just because i am expecting to read about a healthy lifestyle but i read your blog coz i find i enjoy your bakes and try outs, i get o learn more about life that’s different from mine, where i’m from and i hope to get to know more friends, who share similar views, struggles or interesting finds… you don’t have to pretend, in fact, being real is so much better, at least i/we get to know you better, i guess it’s easier said than done coz i constantly struggle with that too but i really appreciate your blog and i think the others do too! you can be yourself, crappy days or not it only proves you are human too! and i am sure we all will accept you and respect you for you.
Gosh! i hope i’m not rambling and saying anything too wrong.
accepting weight gain is difficult, what more health problems? i struggle with that too perhaps, that’s why there’s the blog for support and all?
be praying for ya that everything will work out eventually. take care and take time…:) hope you’ll feel better soon!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:34 am
It’s easy to say, “Love yourself. You are beautiful,” when you are a thin, happy, healthy person.
THAT statement is so true, and I commend you for recognizing it and having the courage to say it. Finding peace within ourselves is simply not as simple as that. I wish I had a solution for you, but I fear that nothing I say at this time is going to make you “forget it” and “move on”. Just try to think back on the happiest moments of your life, and realize that your WEIGHT isn’t what made them happy. It was the love, warmth and support from friends and loved ones around you; people who love you for YOU, not for your jean size.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:35 am
i don’t remember who said it but the quote is something like “i know one thing about life and it is this ‘it goes on’”… there are so many ups and downs and some of the downs are really down and it’s just a matter of time and finding a way. there are so many ways to go, too. but you are VERY lucky — you have mark right there with you. i hope that you feel better and find a way that works for you soon — i definitely appreciate your honesty and think some good things just need to happen and then you will build off them. good luck heather! you are strong. go running, right! it’s a cure all
October 26th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Thanks for your honesty. I know you aren’t perfect and no blogger is but sometimes I forget that when I read blogs. I am sorry you are going through a difficult time but thanks for staying true to your self. I’m sure things can only get better.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I commend you for sharing how I think alot of bloggers feel. I am a personal trainer, and have NEVER-EVER been thin, except when diet down for a competition. You should never feel inadequate or that you aren’t able to teach and share your wealth of knowledge on fitness and nutrition, just because you gained a couple pounds. I know this isn’t what your post was entirely about, but it did stick out to me. I’m sure you are super frustrated right now, but I’m glad you shared your feelings. It makes you ‘real.’ Sending good vibes your way.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hey hun, I just wnated to let you know I totally relate to what you’re going through…not the medical stuff per se, but the feeling like a fake on the blog, or not wanting to feel that way I guess. I do hope you continue blogging, about whatever you feel like talking about or sharing, because I really like your writing style and your stories remind me of living in the northeast. Can you talk to your doctor and see if there is any other medication you can take that doesn’t have the same side effects? There are so many brands out there that it would seem you could try something different if you are unhappy with the one you are given (but really, I don’t know what I’m talking about…)
October 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thanks for your honesty! No one is perfect, even health bloggers, besides, it’s your blog, so you get to say what you need to say! I’m sending good vibes your way. Try not to get too frustrated, although I know things can be hard (I have weird medical issues too). Just keep trying your best, that’s all you can do!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I would be sad to see you go, because I think you’re a great blogger for reasons like this. Here, you opened up your story, and that’s what people want to hear and read, not just filler posts that don’t say anything.
You do live a healthy lifestyle and it’s important to remember that. It’s clear you’re conscious of what you eat and your energy and fitness levels; that’s more than most of America can say. Pounds come and go but a healthy mindset is a lot trickier; it’s hard to obtain at first but once you got it, you got it. And I definitely think you’ve got it.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Thanks for being so honest. It’s OK to not feel like yourself all of the time, and to speak the truth on your blog, even if it goes against your theme or goal. This is YOUR blog, and it’s your space to share what you need to either make yourself feel better, or to get a message across. I don’t know exactly what you are going through, but I feel like I have been there before. I know I don’t know you, but if you need someone to email with or anything let me know. I hope everything gets better for you soon.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I’m sorry you are going through this, Heather. I do hope that you will keep blogging because I enjoy you as a person and writer, not your “healthy lifestyle”. It takes so much courage to admit that you are struggling. There are so many bloggers in this community that never admit that they struggle and it makes me value the ones that do so much more. Thanks for keeping it real and I do hope that you find a suitable solution to your medical issues soon. Even though you are having a hard time seeing it, you are beautiful just the way you are.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Heather, I’m sorry you are struggling with all this. I for one and i know everyone else appreciates the fact that you are throwing yourself out there for all of us. I would miss reading your blog A LOT. And I think even though its tough promoting healthy body image when nothing in your closet fits and half your morning you are struggling to find something to wear- i would still be inspired by your recipes and your life experiences. I think you can live a healthy lifestyle, even if you have to “fake it” till you make it.
I do agree 100% with the statement that its easy to say to love yourself when you are a thin, happy person.. im thin, but hey guess what? i still get acne, which at almost 30 is pretty embarrassing- so do i feel beautiful? NOPE. so i dont pump myself up like that. i cant.
i would say dont put too much thought in that you are gaining weight because of medical reasons. as much as you want to get mad at yourself, its not your fault. im so sorry you are struggling.. stay strong!!!!!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Heather, I love your honesty…it really is why I truly love your blog so much. You don’t put up any kind of front – you put it all out there, and SO many of us can relate to you.
Though I never blogged like you (aka my blame is a “baby” blog!), I’m kind of in a rut now, too. I can’t run, my workouts are always the same and are pretty boring, and I don’t have a ton of time to cook. I posted today about new furniture, LOL.
Just remind yourself of when you’ve been down before, and how you’ve always come out of that. Having highs and lows are completely part of life, and remind yourself that you have a lot on your plate right now, too. Hopefully, when you get a permanent job (and I KNOW you will!), it will help alleviate some of the thoughts you are having know.
Hang in there, Heather…and remember, we have ALL been there.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
What a great post! This post alone is why you should not give up on this hobby! How refreshing to hear that I am not the only one that gets down and frustrated with my weight. I totally believe and relate to your post. Life happens and that is how we feel sometimes and sometimes we need to feel sorry for ourselves and eat some unhealthy food! I go through this almost every month and am going through this right now since I have an injury after my half marathon. I cant really run or exercise…and don’t get me wrong, running is not a passion for me. It is a challenge and I like to see the improvement I have made over the year and well to be honest it is the only thing that seemed to work with losing 35 pounds! I still have another 15 to lose and right now I have just finished a weekend of no cardio, but plenty of fats and carbs and I feel sad that I am back to work on Monday! Boo hoo!
I read your post and thought…I have got to comment! I felt this was the MOST HONEST blog post I have read in the year+ I have been reading these blogs. I don’t buy everyone’s love everything all the time mentality. It is human nature. We have tough times and we need to grieve about it. Even if it is about gaining a few pounds and our clothes fitting tight! I hear you sister and I commend you for writing the post. But don’t give it up! You are my favorite…cause a while back you talked about gravy and growing up in my Italian family…gravy on the stove all day on a Sunday and then dipping some Italian bread in it…a pure treat and you got that!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I think it’s important to share the troubles as well as the tribulations. No one is perfect and no one wants to read a blog that makes them feel as though a healthy lifestyle is not without its ups and downs. Kudos to you for being honest. P.S. I’m giving away a breast cancer awareness Ipod Nano armband case on my blog: http://lovinlosing.com/
October 26th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Wow, Heather. While I don’t know exactly what you are going through, I have felt a lot of the same feelings you are. If you remember, I had a lot of the self loathing and fear of weight gain when I went through my back issues. Right when I was in the thick of it, I got an email from Dottie. Here’s some of what she said:
“I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis a couple of years back, right after my 27th birthday. It is a constant challenge and it has changed how I view myself, people and the world around me. What I took for granted then, I appreciate more than I can put into words, now. One of the things it has taught me and I wish that women our age could understand, those who hate their bodies, don’t think they are thin enough, pretty enough, etc…..
The truth is, I have chunky thighs. The truth is, I am not so concerned with that anymore. The truth is yes, I would like lean legs. However, that became a lot less important when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Now my focus is on being able to walk, which I can’t do sometimes and when I can, I often fall- definitely not gracefully either
There is so much emphasis we put on what isn’t right about us, which makes us not respect our bodies. Our bodies can do cool things, things we should be proud of and enjoy – not always hatin’ on some weight.
Enjoy what you have!!!”
And while I’m not trying to shoot hearts and sunshine up your ass, I do think other than your health and the ability to do even just everyday things with your body, etc., you do have a lot of amazing things that I LOVE to hear about, other than what you are eating or how tight your pants are: you have a great family with a beautiful little niece, you have a job that makes you happy rather than miserable and you had the courage to choose that for yourself, you have a great guy by your side who loves you no matter how balloon-like you might temporarily be, and you have a whole community of friends that love and support you.
Thank you for posting this today, not only because it helps me understand you a little more, but it also makes me take another look at myself. Keep your chin up, girl, and if you need anything, you know where to find me
October 26th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Heather, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Thank you for opening up and being honest about it. That’s what makes you the amazing blogger that you are and why we all keep coming back to read what you have to say. You hit the nail on the head when you said that it’s easy to love yourself when your thin and beautiful. But a healthy lifestyle isn’t just about being thin. You’re doing what you need to do right now so you CAN be healthy. Unfortunately, gaining weight is part of this process for you. You might gain weight, but maybe it’s worth it in the long run if it means you feel better. I hope you’ll keep blogging because, like I said before, it’s the honesty and your personality that keeps us coming back. Not the miles you’ve run that day or how many different ways you can make a salad. Keep your head up!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I love when people don’t pretend like their lives are perfect. Not that you ever did but you know what I mean. It’s frustrating when you feel like you try and try but will never be THAT person who can eat fun things and remain healthy.
Most importantly though is you believe in the healthy lifestyle and that is key.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Oh Heather. Hugs to you. Just hugs. I could say how it will all be better in time and all that, but sometimes words aren’t enough. Hugs are.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
It is very brave of you to post this, Heather. I can completely relate in a lot of ways to what you are saying- it is very hard to stay positive sometimes, and to not wonder why you are in the specific situation you are struggling with. Just know that you will get through this, and you will still be YOU, even if you don’t it right now, and regardless of what size your jeans are. Thank you for your honesty and for trusting your readers.. stay strong.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Hang in there Heather. I will read for as long as your write! You are so true that it is easier to be happy with yourself when you are thin and pretty, but how interesting would we be if we all looked the same? I really enjoy reading about your daily life no matter what you look like!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
It takes a lot of courage to put your true thoughts out there. I have been in your place before and know if can be extremely difficult to put on the ‘happy face’ every day.
Thanks for sharing! Sending you hugs!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Thank you for being human. No one can put on a happy face all the time and be positive about everything. Thank you for sharing with us…I hope it feels better just to get that off your chest. I completely agree with it’s WAY easier to stay positive when you’re thin and healthy. I’ve fought my weight my entire life. About a year and a half ago, I started being healthy and lost 50 pounds. I still have 15 pounds to go to get in the “normal” range but for me, I’m much happier. Thank you for your blog…it gives me tons of motivation!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
i wrote to you already, but i wanted to add: perfect = boring. that applies to pretty much everything . . . including healthy lifestyle blogs
{{{hugs}}}
October 26th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Heather-
) People want to hear the truth, and not a sugar-coated version of something which is unrealistic and unattainble. My favorite blogs are the ones where people share their struggles. It isn’t because I enjoy other people’s troubles or unhappiness that I love those blogs. It is because I can actually relate to them, and ‘watch’ them work those problems and struggles out. Which gives me the courage to tackle my own challenge on a daily basis. It gives me a sense of camraderie (no, not everyone’s lives and meals are as picture perfect as some of the blogs I no longer read appeared…) You are so intelligent, courageous and fabulous. I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time, but it is just that. A difficult time. Time is always going forward 
(duh… 
) and you will overcome your difficulties and challenges like you always have in your life. You’re awesome, i know i speak for everyone when i say we always love hearing about your life, good bad and otherwise. Keep on truckin lady 
If you need anything I’m always game for a cup of coffee 
)
Your honesty is inspiring, Mark is right (although don’t admit that to him, right?
Sara
(formerly eatfabinnyc.wordpress.com
October 26th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this right now, Heather. I haven’t had a medical issue like this, but one of my best friends was dealing with something for years before they figured out what it was and how to treat it, and I remember how painful and frustrating and miserable it was for her at times. Not having control over things like that is so hard, especially when you’re trying things to “fix it” and you’re not always sure how they’ll affect you.
No one expects you to be perfect or happy all the time – that’s just not possible. I hope all the medical stuff gets figured out soon!!!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Heather, thanks for being honest and for sharing everything with us. It’s okay to blog about what you are going through, to not eat healthy every single moment of every single day, to feel down sometimes. Everyone has something that they struggle with and it’s okay not to put on a brave face all the time. But just know that you’ll get through this and we are all here for you.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Hi Heather,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. I know what you’re going through; so many medicines have made me retain water like crazy. Its really frustrating when you feel like you have no control over your weight because of a medication.
My suggestions are to give the new meds a little more time to see if your body just needs to get used to it. If you’re still feeling like this, talk to your doctor about trying a different medication. And if your doctor won’t listen to your concerns, find another doctor.
When I was struggling with my thyroid, I went to 5 different doctors before I found one who actually listened and wanted to help. Its tough, and its frustrating, but you will get through this!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Thank you so much for your honesty. It is so much better than faking it and trying to fool people into thinking everything is hunky dory.
All I can say is hang in there! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I’m sorry about what’s going on with you. It was brave of you to share it with us and again, I’m sorry you feel like an hypocrite.. but you are human and it is normal to go through rough times.
I hope everything gets better and that you go back to feeling like yourself.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
you are so honest and I really appreciate that. In fact, I have gone through a similar period just recently, causing me to delete all my former blog posts. Maybe I shouldn’t have; but I just needed a clean start.
Hang in there, try to enjoy the positive things and try to make the best of the negative things… Take care!!!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Wow! You are so inspiring! honesty is a wonderful and beautiful quality! I understand what you are going through. I just stumbled upon your blog but I know how hard it can be with medical problems. I have delt with one too that put me on and off medicines and did terrible things to me. I got through it though and I know you can too! Sometimes life is hard..and that is when you are tested the most. It will never been as easy as we all wish it could be! Hang in there! I know you are strong and can pull through it! Thanks so much again for your honesty!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Thank you so much for being so honest! I think it takes more strength to share these things than to keep them inside and hide them. I think that healthy living has a balance and everyone that is happy and healthy also has their down moments…it’s getting back on your feet that sets you apart. My heart goes out to you as you struggle through this issue but my prayers follow you; I am sending peace, contentment, happiness and safety towards you. Love yourself, even when your body is betraying you and making you feel crazy. Cherish yourself today. Remember that your body has gotten you through so much and give it a moment where you love it instead of despise it because it’s sick or puffy or tired. You are an amazing woman with amazing goals, thoughts, loves, dreams, accomplishments and strength!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Thanks for sharing, I want to add that if you don’t like what your doctor is saying seek another opinion. Look at natural medicine or another form of care! I have suffered from horrible migraines and until I started doing massage and acupuncture I thought I was doomed.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Thanks for your honesty. I know how you feel about not feel happy at the moment with life especially when things are not going your were. I am going through some health issues as well (nothing life threatening either) just things that make me embarrassed and just plain ugly. I am a big believer in eating healthy and staying active and being positive. But I am even struggling with that at the moment. I know both you and me will get through this.
I tell myself everyday that… and try to say some positive things and smile. It helps sometimes. Though I still cry every single day. 
All I can say is keep your head up and things will work out. I am a big believer in that things happen for a reason… though sometimes we might realize the reason till later on. Thanks again for sharing your situation. Sending you hugs!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
What you just described is what every overweight or obese person goes through every day of their life. It’s not always simply a matter of eating healthy and everything will naturally fall into place. There are outside influences that affect healthy lifestyles. It can be a vicious cycle as you just described and knowing that it’s health related can make you feel defeated which then causes most people to over indulge.
I understand. You are not alone.
The only thing you can do is keep trying every day to live the life you want to live minus all the pressure it seems like you’re putting on yourself to be the perfect healthy blogger example.
I enjoyed this blog the most. Thank you for sharing!
~amy
October 26th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I love your blog even more now. You are REAL and real people go through things like what you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts. You have to do what is best for you! Good luck.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Heather, I’ve been reading your blog for just a couple months now and I’ve always enjoyed it. I went through 18 months of a health problem with doctors misdiagnosing and writing prescriptions that I wasn’t comfortable with. So I kept searching and asking for more opinions. It was frustrating when I too “ballooned up” taking a medication. Here I was someone who really promoted a healthy lifestyle with family and friends, and gained quite a bit of weight on my small frame. But one thing I’m so glad I did was talk to people, exactly like you’re doing. Honesty is a good, good thing. You’ve got a lot of people supporting you.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
If you’ve ever read my blog, you know that I’m all about honesty and getting things out there. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows and the fact is, it’s times like these when people can relate to you on a much more personal level. I also have health issues I’m dealing with (IBS, etc.) and there’s no “cure” for what’s going on.
To say it’s frustrating is an understatement. Although it sounds like I’m complaining, my clothes are falling off of me, nothing looks good, nothing fits and I feel like crap physically a lot of the time. When you don’t have your physical health, your mental health suffers. If I feel like crap, I hate pretending that I feel like a million bucks (I try, but not always…)
I’m also opposed to “traditional” treatments, so i can relate to that as well, but you have to figure out what’s going to work for you depending on your condition (none of my business). Did you feel better before the treatment and are you more (physically) uncomfortable now that you’ve started it again, or is it just more mental discomfort?
If it helps you, I would encourage you to talk with several other professionals about a natural alternative, if possible, or if there is anything you can do to ease the process. Regardless, just know that you’re no less respected or appreciated on this blog because you’re not a cheerleader.
You’re not a hypocrite-you’re human-and we can relate (at least I can). If you were out smoking and drunk every night, I may change my tune, but you can’t help what’s happening.
Hang in there and I look forward to reading more.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Hi Heather, I just wanted to say God Bless and good luck with everything. I know this sounds so cliche, but I’m sure it will all work out.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I love and admire your honesty. You’re not a hypocrite, being leading a healthy lifestyle includes taking care of your mental health and getting all of this off your chest had to have made you feel better.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Thanks for sharing Heather! I hope everything works out! Feeling this way just means your human, not a hypocrite! I had some pretty bad thyroid problems this time last year and it made me literally miserable, and gained weight too. I know how it feels, you’ll get though it!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Mama Pea always says things so well! Pretend my comment is as eloquent and amazing as hers, okay?
Honestly though – thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry you are struggling with things right now, and at NO point did you sound self absorbed or like a baby. Sometimes is hard to pretend everything is always perfect and wonderful. At the end of it all though – it’s how you deal with the whole situation that matters – and you are a tough cookie, who is doing everything she can to take steps to fix things! hang in there – big hugs from c-town coming your way!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Your honesty is awesome, and I can’t thank you enough for it. I don’t think you are being a hypocrite at all-I’m sure it was so helpful to get this out and into the “open”. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that we are all here for you!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I think it’s normal to have ups and downs in both mood and weight. In my opinion, it would be nice to see a blogger who is honest and open about these struggles, because many bloggers seem almost perfect in their eating and weight management. Weight struggles and health issues are something many people can relate to. This is YOUR blog, do with it what you want. No matter what, you will have support from readers (like the many that commented before me).
October 26th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
It is still possible to promote healthy habits and self-love even when you are struggling with it. The fact that you are being honest here — to yourself, to Mark, heck, even to your readers — is a sign of greater strength than you possibly know. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You deserve better! Make a list of things you are happy with in your life! Do some yoga! Bake some pumpkin muffins! Love yourself!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I almost cried while reading this because I feel so very much the same way, Heather. The body is a confusing thing sometimes. It’s not fair. I have had my share of problems with various medications and weight gains over the years. I got to the point where I just had to stop using them (but my problems were stoppable in other ways). I understand the way you feel right now about leading a healthy lifestyle. When you are emotionally not healthy, the body is the same – and vice versa. All I can say is that you need to stick it out (and I know you will). These times pass; they always do. But when you’re in the midst of it, things never feel like they will go back to normal. Everything is always OK. I tell myself that everyday “It will be OK.” It’s the easiest mantra. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I keep saying it. No matter what I look like – it will be OK. No matter how bad I feel – it will be OK. I guess I have a lot of faith in the future, and I know you do too.
I think writing a blog post like this shows that you are leading a healthy lifestyle – because you feel and think and share. When you share, someone else reads it and takes something away. That promotes a healthy world all around us. You are real. That’s all there is to it. That’s why I love you – blog or no blog.
Feel free to move this to gmail, if you’d like.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Not everyone can be perfectly content with their body ALL the time. And I think you have very valid reasons to be frustrated and sad and annoyed right now. You are being honest and REAL by sharing your thoughts and emotions with the internet world. One amazing thing is that you have so much support. But I know that it sometimes feels like you are all alone when you are typing at your computer
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Buy some sweatpants for at home so that you won’t feel so bad with the clothes there at least where you should feel totally relaxed. Remember also…this too shall pass. Talking out your feelings is the best because it allows you to be real. And that’s all anyone wants…not for you to look or act or blog a certain way. Thanks for sharing everything.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Heather,
I hope all the support you’re getting here helps. I totally understand what you’re going through — in fact, as I was reading, I thought…did I write this?
I lost a bunch of weight and maintained it…until I started having a health problem of my own, AND started training for triathlons. I’ve put on 10 pesky pounds that just won’t go away. Depressing? You bet. Makes me feel like a fraudulent blogger? Sometimes.
Hearing that I’m not alone is really helpful, so thank you for your honesty!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Heather-
While I can’t say much about the health issue..I can sure say a few things about the weight issue. I too have gained a significant amount of weight..and when I say significant, it means new jeans, shirts, jackets that just dont fit the way they used to. It is so upseting. period. I can think of a million reasons why I should be happy that I have the body taht I have, but at the end of the day,I miss the body that once was. I am reminded every time I try on my old jeans, or go to the gym since I am trying so hard to lose the weight again. well, truth is, no matter how much I work out or how i change my eating habits,I just cant lose and its hard to maintain. I am in the process of thyroid testing.not being able to fix the problem, not knowing what the problem is, and constantly trying to deal with it is exhausting. I know that you are probably having some big issues now but hopefully soon everything will get worked out. Unfortunately some people have to deal with bigger issues than others, but I try to remember that things are thrown at us and it is how you deal with them that makes you incredible. just stay with it. its hard to see now but everything will work out for you in the end.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
this is why you are a fab blogger – you are honest!
feel better soon!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I’m so sorry for everything your going through Heather. There are those times in life where everything just feels off and uncontrollable. But the blogging community is such an encouraging and supportive space, and I’m glad you were honest about how you’ve been feeling. We’re all here, no matter what you’re going through. There is no such thing as the perfect blogger, person, anything. I really hope things turn around for you soon!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
awww, heather! i’m sorry you’re having a tough time, and i totally feel your blogging identity crisis pain. it’s hard to promote the healthy outlook you want to promote when you’re feeling discouraged and unhappy, and you shouldn’t have to! part of being ok with yourself is being ok with highs AND lows, and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not feeling totally at peace with yourself all the time. you’re doing great, you’ll get through this, and we’re all here cheering you on until you figure out a solution!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Heather,
Thanks for sharing this. Like so many bloggers and readers, I appreciate you for your honesty. We’re all human and things happen. I am specifically attracted to blogs that make it a point to talk about a healthy living style as a work in progress, rather than a perfectionist approach to it. I think it’s okay to feel down and it doesn’t make you seem like a baby at all. I think it’s okay to take time off from the blog and whatever else when you need it. I hope you feel better soon and thank you for sharing once again.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Heather,
Sometimes medications have aweful side effects. If you don’t believe in the treatment and aren’t seeing good progress you should voice this to your doctor while you have insurance. It is important to be heard when it comes to your health.
As for being real on the blog, I APPRECIATE IT! I do enjoy seeing that “healthy living” bloggers are normal people with ups and downs and fears and worries. It shows that even the healthiest of people aren’t perfect and THAT’S GREAT!
I hope you feel better emotionally and physically soon enough.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
As always, we appreciate and cherish your honesty, Heather. You are always someone we can count on to be real and you should never feel like a hypocrite.
*takes deep breathe*
You probably can imagine based on conversations we’ve had offline that my stress in certain areas of life right now has led to similar body issues and frustrations. I don’t know exactly what you are going through medically – although given my shared opinion with you on undergoing such medical treatments, I can empathize that it must be maddening – but I do want you to know that I understand where your anger and lack of motivation to discuss anything “healthy” when you’re feeling this way comes from. Believe me, I’ve been there and, to a certain extent, I am there now.
Please know that you can reach out to me for ANYTHING. I’ve enjoyed our conversations and am thinking of you often. I wish you nothing but a speedy recovery from whatever this is and think the world of you. Pleae remember that!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Oh Heather. While I cannot relate to the part about being sick (so sorry), I can definitely relate to tight pants. That alone is enough to really affect my mood, so I can only imagine what you are going through with the added stress of your health.
You are not a hyocrite. Part of loving yourself and being healthy is FEELING the love and FEELING healthy. If you are not feeling that right now, than no one is expecting you to pretend otherwise and you should not feel the least bit guilty for expressing those feelings. The main reason why I love your blog is because you are 100% genuine and real. Yes, you feature some tasty food and inspiring mileage, but really, I just like to hear from YOU. I know others feel the same way. It has nothing to do with what you eat or how your pants fit. I just like reading your writing and hearing about your life.
I hope whatever it is you are going through (physically) can be helped by those darn pills. I hope you can go off them soon and FEEL like your normal, fabulous self again. We know you are, but you have to feel it, too.
XOX
October 26th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Heather, I am so, so sorry you’re going through all of this. Do NOT feel like a hypocrite. You are not a hypocrite at all. It’s hard to be cheery, positive, self-loving, etc. 24/7 especially when you are going through a hard time. It’s okay to have emotions no matter what they are. That’s human. I pray that you find some relief soon. You will be back to your usual self soon! In the meantime, try your hardest to keep pushing on through all of this. We all are here for you!!
October 26th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Oh gosh, I’m sorry to read this
What a horrible feeling to have. Thanks for being honest with us – you know we all support you no matter what. Try to remember that it’s not really YOU feeling this way, more the pills, you know? It will get better 
No one is perfect and no one is happy and upbeat all the time. It’s just not how it goes! And we get that 
(hug)
October 26th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Oh Heather your honesty and transparency speaks volumes of your character. I’m so sorry you’re struggling and just do the best you can … days when you don’t want to post, don’t … if you want to share your struggles, share them. This is your blog!! XOXO
October 26th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Heather, I can’t even begin to be as eloquent as everyone before me, but I am here for you and understand and empathize with every sentence you wrote. Lots of hugs to you.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
The doctor part of me wants to help, to talk to you about the condition and the treatment and help you either find a way to feel comfortable about the treatment or seek alternatives. I hope you are able to do this with your own physicians. The blog reader part of me wants to thank you for your honesty and hope you take strength in the dozens of comments saying the same.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
First, I have to say you totally made the right decision in sharing this!! People often forget that bloggers aren’t these fit, healthy, happy-go-lucky people all the time. We get cranky, we complain, we gain weight, and we can be negative sometimes. Also, I want to say that you should not devalue what you’re going through. Sure, there are a lot of people out there in worse situations, but don’t brush your feelings off as not being legitimate. No matter what caused your feelings, they are no less real than what anyone else is going through!
I hope the doctor visit went okay. You’ll get through this. Life is long, and this is nothing but a speed bump along the way…
October 26th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I’m sorry you’re going through this, and it’s ok to vent and you don’t have to pretend like everything’s ok. Thanks for being honest, and hopefully something will work and you can get back to being happy, healthy, and hangry! Gotta love battle scars…sigh.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Lately, it seems like all the bloggers have awesome news and there lives are turning into everything they dreamed of… While I think that’s fabulous, all I can think is sure it’s easy to smile and go out for a run when things are great… Things here in Rebeca-land aren’t that great, and doing those things are not so easy.
Thank you for being so courageous and sharing with us… It’s so easy to present a front to the world through the veil of the internet but you’re so honest and I really appreciate that!
I hope that you can quickly resolve your health issues and get back to enjoying your NJ life, but until then, I’m rooting for you!
October 26th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
PS. I already posted earlier, but wanted to add something- I was already in a bummed out mood today for my own reasons and actually ended up posting on my blog about it… Just thought I would let you know in case you wanted to read about someone else trying to stay positive despite dealing with challenging situations, etc. (and please don’t think I’m trying to equate our situations or anything like that, esp considering I don’t really know any details about you, but I just thought you might enjoy taking a peek). Have a good night!
http://joelygolightly.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/im-okay-youre-okay/
October 26th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Heather, first, I think it’s so brave and awesome of you to be honest on your blog and not give up. I’m glad you shared.
You know that all of us have our rough times, and I will honestly say that it’s only when I talk and hear about other people do I realize that I’m not alone. You are not alone. This is a trying time in your life for sure…I’ve definitely been trying to figure out my medicine plan lately and it’s been interrupting my sleeping patterns. UGH.
Please don’t ever hesistate to type out and share your thoughts, we are a supportive community first and foremost! I hope you feel better today
October 26th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I love your honesty, and I am sorry you are going through such a tough time. I think that it makes your blog more you, and if you are willing and able to share whats going on, people will most definitely want to read it. Its easy to write about the good times, and often when I am reading blogs I am like, woah, perfect lives they have! It adds to an already great community for you to share health issues or job stress. Best wishes to you!
October 26th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
dearest heather, it’s your honesty that i appreciate and read for. mark is so great for telling you to share how you feel now. you arent a hypocrite. you are a human. and you are certainly allowed to go through ups and downs. dont we all? i hope. its hard (if not impossible) to be cheery all the time, and i love that rather than put on a false front and sugar coat your life, you are open about the struggles you face. im sending you a virtual hug, and i hope that everything works out, with your health and the medicine issue you are dealing with. all my best.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
This post was amazing, not because it was upbeat, inspiring, encouraging, etc., but because it was honest and real. What I appreciate about you as a blogger is that you seem so down-to-earth and easy to relate to. I know you’re going through a trying time right now, and there’s no need to sugarcoat it for your readers. We’re all pulling for you and wishing you the very best. Stay strong.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Thank you for being real. Honest and vulnerable. I mean really, no one ever has their act together. And there are hard times and easier times in life. This is a harder one for you. You are not a hypocrite, you are a real person. I hope that sharing on your blog will encourage you. All the best with medical struggles. I do hope the dotors will come to a conclusion. Until then, have hope and take the baby steps you can in your life to work towards health.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Heather, you’re honestly in this post is inspiring! You are a great blogger and we’re all here supporting you through anything. We all do struggle. I hope everything is okay! <3
October 26th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I admire your honesty and love you forever. It sounds like this is part of your experience as a healthy woman – doing what you can to practice self-care in a really frustrating, uncomfortable situation. I loved you and admired you for your independent mind, humility, and overall adorableness before, but now you’re over the top my role model Heather.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I totally know what you mean about having an identity crisis. I had one about two weeks ago. I felt like i couldn’t ‘compete’ against the big names in the blogging world so ‘what did I have to offer?’ kept running through my head. Anyways, I just sat there and said ‘I have to be me’. People read you becuase you’re you. They read you because you are honest. Do you know how many people will read your blog post that you’ve written and say ‘Man, that’s me or Man I’ve been there or Man, I hope that she’s ok’. That’s the beauty of blogging. It’s a support network outside of recipes, and daily updates about your life. Just enjoy the fact that you’re being honest. I know what it’s like to go through health issues as well. I had the same thing happen to me from Jan 09-Aug 09..with about a 30lbs gain. It’s been emotionally exhausting and soul defeating to have to deal with health issues as well as dealing with the weight gain. I guess the only thing that has helped me is that it will pass. You aren’t ugly/unattractive/undesirable to people–it’s mainly something that I battled in my own head. I hope that you are able to find a sliver of light, find ways to get moving and remember you don’t have to be perfect. Thank you for sharing…look how many people you’ve touched. ~M
October 26th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Heather, there is such power in honesty. I appreciate your it and admire you for sharing your life with me and everyone else. Reality is perception, focus on your strong moments and I do mean – moments. Build from there, challenging as hell but we all have faith in you. Continue to be honest, the integrity of your blog is appreciated.
October 26th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Heather, I had to delurk for this one – you are amazing. You are honest. You are real. You don’t sugar-coat things.
One thing you wrote reminds me of something that I find myself saying (to myself, mostly) constantly: “It’s easy to say, ‘Love yourself. You are beautiful,’ when you are a thin, happy, healthy person.”
Please, please, pretty-please do not stop blogging. You will get through this. I am the 74th comment and girl, with at least seventy-four (and counting) people on your side (Plus Mark – we’re at 75 – booya!) you can get through this.
You inspire me. Thank you!
October 26th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Thank you so much for sharing – it can be really hard! While I’m not sure what you’re going through, I’m currently on almost a dozen meds, multiple weekly dr. appts and have put on >40 lbs in the past year, and it is a total downer when you feel like you’re doing everything right and things with your bod are horribly wrong. Kudos for putting it out there – I’ve found that it really helps! Your blog has been such an inspiration, and hopefully it can serve as an outlet versus and added form of stress. I really value your posts, but right now whatever you think is best for yourself if obviously the way to go. Keep on being amazing, and loving the bod, even if it doesn’t always cooperate – My favorite mantra is “The best I can do right now IS good enough!”
October 26th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
You are not a hypocrite, nor are you a bad blogger. You are a real person who strives to be healthy and to make the best choices available to you. I think you are succeeding in those goals. It sounds like you have a problem and you are taking what steps you can to solve that problem, even though those steps are causing you discomfort/stress/angst. In other words, you are literally and figuratively taking your medicine.
I find you, and all of the other bloggers who are kind and caring enough to be honest with us readers, truly inspirational. Someone who pretended to be perfect would just be discouraging, and I don’t think such a blogger would really teach her readers very much. We all have our hurdles. Some of you are kind and brave enough to share your struggles with the rest of us so that we can learn from them. Thank you for doing that.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate lately. I hope that things start going your way soon.
Cheers.
Marie
October 26th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Heather, please don’t feel like you are being a bad blogger or a hypocrite!! I’m so sorry for the medical issues you are dealing with now, but it does not devalue you as a person.
As someone who is currently dealing with “size” issues of my own (I think I mentioned on here before that I had to also buy new pants for the beginning of this school year because the ones from last June didn’t fit anymore!) it’s challenging and easy to get down on ourselves, but though it’s hard, I think it’s important to try to focus on the positives.
While I understand while you are coming from, you have to realize that you are still a VERY healthy person, far, far more than the average person. Weight gain sucks for whatever reason, but it’s better to have gained a few pounds and to be a healthy person on the inside for eating good nutritious food and exercising, which you do, then to be some skinny girl who eats like crap, drinks all the time and doesn’t work out, but fits into her pants.
I’ll stop rambling now, but please don’t feel bad about this and thank you for your honesty. You are strong and will get through this! We are all here for you girl!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:41 am
You are absolutely not a bad blogger for feeling a little lost right now. That just makes you human!! You will get through the treatment you’re trying and I hope and pray it works this time. You and Mark are both in my thoughts and I can promise you I will still keep checking up on HangryPants, hoping to hear your found your light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, hang in there!!! xoxo
October 27th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Thank you so much for being honest and sharing your feelings like this. I think that matters so much more than being super upbeat or loving yourself ALL the time. It’s normal to feel the emotions your feeling especially when dealing with some sort of medical situation. We also have to remember that we ALL go up and down on the scale (or in our jeans) and rethinking your eating choices helps to get us back on track. It must be frustrating though if the medication is the major cause. I am glad to hear that your going to keep blogging because I think that this community could be just what you need to help stay positive
Good luck!
October 27th, 2009 at 7:46 am
I hope you feel better Heather
. I love reading your blog, I too was a miserable lawyer and gave it up, so I really identify with you. xx
October 27th, 2009 at 9:38 am
((HUGS)) Heather! I just thought I would send out some virtual hugs. I love reading what you write and I agree, you need to write how you feel. Hang in there and keep your chin up.
Look at all the love & support you have here.
October 27th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Have a good blood work up, thyroid,etc. You are such a wonderful young women. I really enjoy reading your blog and trying some of your recipes. Some of the weight gain could be from your running. There a lots of reasons – just remain healthy – in body, mind and spirit. Take it from a 60 something – there are and will be lots of ups and downs on the scale.
October 27th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Everyone goes through that. Just know that you don’t HAVE to write about food. Write about your day. Write about a random topic. Write about anything. It’s just your outlet to the world. I went through that, too, and I stopped blogging for a while and I missed it so much. We’ll be here no matter what you’re writing about. Even if you just post one word blogs… lol
October 27th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Hi Heather,
First of all I really hope you feel better with respect to whatever is concerning you healthwise. Secondly, I’m only a blog reader and not a blogger and to be honest (like you have been in your post), I get really down sometimes reading these happy, healthy, beautiful blogs because lets face it, none of us feel the exact same way everyday. None of us remain the exact same size everyday. Some days I read blogs and think “dont these girls have any problems” and despite myself I have in the past felt envious of everyone’s portrayal of their extremely satisfied happy lives. Some days I feel too thin, others I feel bloated and fat and probably look it too. Some I’m happy and others not so much. My diet changed alot when I started reading health blogs and I found I actually GAINED weight. I’m starting to now go back to eating healthy and more like myself and not like the pictures on the blogs.
Yours was the first “health” blog I started reading and the reason I come back to your blog everyday is because its NOT fake, because you dont make your readers feel like youre living a fantasy life they cannot lead and because its more humanly than most blogs out there. Thank you for your post and for your blog.
October 27th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Heather – thank you for sharing this, as tough as it was. I don’t know what’s going on, but I really wish you the best and pray for strength for you to get through it. It’s hard to try and always be a positive and healthy blogger 24/7, especially if you’re going through things. I too, have gained a good amount of weight recently, and negative thoughts keep entering my mind, and I know I want to lose this weight. However, I’ve found it hard to talk about on the blog because I try and promote the “you’re beautiful” concept and, just feeling good about yourself in general. Don’t ever feel afraid to really talk about your feelings on the blog. Talking and writing about our feelings and thoughts is what blogging is all about. So go for it! Prayers and thoughts are with you to get through!
October 27th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
[...] my beloved chickpea spread. Where’s the hummus love? I’m not quite going through an identity crisis…yet…but I do need to work on some re-stocking. Sabra? Are you [...]
October 27th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Sending good vibes your way!! It sounds like you’re going through a frustrating time, but hang in there! You’re good enough! Smart enough! And gosh darn it, people like you!
Do what’s best for you and know that when you’re up to it, you have loyal readers waiting.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
[...] want to say another thank you for the continued comments and emails on me “Being Healthy Through a Frown" Post. The positive responses have taken many forms. Some thanked me for my honesty, applauded for [...]
October 28th, 2009 at 12:17 am
I really appreciate your honesty. I have had similar issues with medications, though that was years ago. Being a “health blogger” doesn’t make you immune to real feelings, emotions and frustrations. That’s important for readers to see.
October 28th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Sorry to hear you’re going through rough times Heather
Hugs from NC
October 28th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Sorry you’ve been struggling lately. I’ve been going through some stuff recently too, and I often have a lot of time being a perky and happy blogger. But Mark’s right: if you ARE a good blogger, people will love you for being “real” and trusting them enough to open up.
October 29th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Heather, hang in there. No one should expect you to be happy and up beat all the time – we’re all human, and we all go through slumps. Putting on a facade for your blog isn’t worth the stress. I’m sorry that you have to go through whatever medical treatments you do – I know it can be frustrating to try and find the right solution (if there is one) to whatever problem it is that ails you. The body is so complex, and everyone reacts differently. Remember that is is temporary, and hopefully you and your doctors can figure it out.
October 30th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Do we not love Mama Pea?! Goodness, what she wrote is spot on and I second everything! And I’m glad you wrote this because I appreciate bloggers who are up front, honest, and keep it real. Not everything is rainbows and sparkles! Life just is not that way and I thank you for being open about that.
I’m sorry you are going through all of this because you’re right it does suck. Are you able to look into alternative medicine at all?
November 1st, 2009 at 4:53 pm
hi there – I know I don’t comment very often at all, But i read your blog all the time. I’m sure you would have shared this info if you wanted to, but is there any chance that the medication you are taking about is predisone or steroids? I only ask because I have to take that and it makes me puff up like a blowfish – its absolutely crazy, I know exactly how you feel. No matter how many times people tell me to just love myself becasue I am beautiful no matter what – it won’t sink in because I can’t get over how gross I feel, and thats what its all about anyhow… I really appreciate you sharing this because it seems like so many bloggers don’t share enough about weight maintenance struggles and always post how much junk food they eat, it can be realllly discouraging. best of luck – and please don’t quit blogging!
November 13th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
[...] Heather, I’ve sort of been having a blogging identity [...]
November 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
i read your blog, but have never really commented much before – however, i think it is incredibly brave and incredibly helpful to share what you just did. your honesty is refreshing, and YES – it is easy to be happy when life is good, your weight is under control and things are normal. hang in there ms. heather – you will get there again
December 17th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
[...] and health around here. I am still experiencing bloating side effects from my medicine, which I spoke about a couple months ago. I’ve made two appointments after Christmas with two different doctors to [...]
March 9th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, and I can strongly relate at the moment. Without going into specifics, is it a stomach problem that you’re suffering from? I’ve been seeing doctors and undergoing tests for a year now and the first thing they wanted (and may still be what they push as the only solution) is to go on a type of antidepressant that *might*, as a side effect, lessen the pain, but also causes a whole bunch of other, less desirable side effects like weight gain. It’s the aspect of gaining weight *out of my control* that bothers me so much, particularly when I’m very, very against this particular medication in general.
Hang in there. I hope it’s only temporary.