Muffaletta sounds dirty but it’s really not.

Since my company was purchased a couple months ago I’ve had the pain filled pleasure of frequenting a new, expensive and culinarily progressive cafeteria many miles away from my house. The distance from home makes the experience even more exotic. Sometimes it feels like I’m eating Chinese food in Istanbul.

Yes, my job is that exciting.

If I had to describe a muffaletta to a child I’d start by saying it’s a “meat birthday cake”. I wouldn’t have to go much further ‘cus any smart kid would have already eaten it and asked for a party hat. Ham, salami, cappicola, cheese and tasty olive pudding are packed into a round sesame covered loaf of bread the size of a Power Wheels tire and held together with a long toothpick.

Unless you’ve got a double action jaw you’d be wise employ utensils to dismantle it before consumption. This picture attempts to capture the sense of inferiority such a device evokes.

A side of oddly sweet carrot chips made it a healthy meal, enabling me to eat 4 bagels the same day I ate this as well.

2 Cinnamon Raisin and 2 Blueberry, and it ain’t even 6 pm.

There’s no pictures because I ate them.

I told you I lead an Intense Lifestyle (c).