Day 3, Taco Flavored Kisses

Another day, another taco Salad. Maybe I’m bending the rules with this one, but it’s so good I don’t care.

• Lettuce
• Ground Turkey with Turkey Seasoning
• Onions
• Corn
• Shredded Cheddar Cheese
• Black Beans
• Black Bean & Corn Salsa
• Lime Juice squeezed on top

This one rates a strong yeah on a scale of ugh to yum. It was like eating a taco except instead of using a semi-stale flatly fried Fritos cracktraption as a means of delivery it’s in a bowl and eaten with a fork. Gotta admit, American efficiency at its finest.

Day 4,  Portable Protein Power

I accidentally left this salad in the car all day. Luckily, my car was in a garage that acts as a giant insulator so the temperature stayed down. Acknowledging the fine line between the common Turkey and lesser well known Turkey ala e.coli I ate it anyway, with my hands, on the drive home from work. I went to work the next day without gastrointestinal incedent.

• Spinach
• Sundried Tomatoes
• Cheese
• Cucumbers
• Hardboiled Egg
• Black Beans
• Turkey
• Macadamia Nuts

The cheap Stop N’ Shop sliced turkey was good but my favorite part of this, and probably any salad, is the cheese. The macadamians have a nice oily pop and provide good texture amidst an otherwise mooshly conglomeration.

Day 5, Narfle the Garthok!

Heather from Hangry Pants, that’s who.

Retrospectively, I see this mixture clearly exhibits Heather’s youthful exhuberance and undying commitment to innovation. 

Either that or her taste predictor gland is malfunctioning. Strawberries and carrots?! The people at Odwalla must be bouncing around their hemp cushioned easy chairs – that’s rule number one in organic vegetable juicing school broken! This is an abomination of conflicting flavors that would leave the ordinary tongue of an ordinary man confounded and without legal recourse..

Luckily, I am no ordinary man with no ordinary tongue.

• Spinach
• Turkey
• Strawberries
• Raisins
• Black Beans
• Carrots

I just narfled that Garthok.

When a company with a quality reputation like Pepperidge Farm slaps the word Vitality across the front of their bread line I stand up and take note. Rather, I sit down, crack that pack open and make a turkey, ham and cheese sandwich as demonstrated in this pictorial review.

Pepperidge Farm Vitality Multi Grain with Ancients Grains

The package front says it best: Multi Grain with Ancient Grains and a load of Omega-3 acids. I’m not a grain historian so I can’t verify that the grains included are technically ancient, but I can say there is a nice variety of nibbles and bits throughout what is an otherwise soft, sweet, and enjoyable bread with outstanding nutritional value. Each one of these guys is also loaded with 5 grams of Fiber!

Don’t be afraid little guy. Come out and play with me.

On this day you will face your maker, naked and without shelter.

But you will not be alone. The alliances you have forged in times past still burn bright.

Exhibit Q: A ruggedly torn block of HeluvaGood! Colby-Jack Cheese. Why does it look like someone broke of a big piece off before last sealing it away in the refrigerator drawer? I’ll give you one guess. Someone did! ME! I LOVE CHEESE!

I like when cheese is sliced haphazardly or broken off at odd angles. The varied texture enhances the flavor.

Healthy Ones Ham

and a little Healthy Ones Turkey

Make for one Heluva Good Pepperidge Farm VITALITY Ancient Grains sandwich.

Although there is visual evidence of me using 2 slices of bread in this review it was so good I ate nearly half the loaf.

I am not ashamed and you shouldn’t be either.